Current mood:

contemplative

i basically havent had a good substantial update in a loooong time
so this is my first one.
im going to tell you stories of things that happened to me this weekend.
i think they have changed me.
i feel differently about everything.
maybe im just looking too hard into it.

if you dont care to read about the happs of my life.
i dont blame you.

so yesterday morning i went to Axis for guitar lessons.
my parents were an hour and a half late to pick me up so i got to hang around the office with Jay for a while.
hes cool.
i like Jay.

so this Girl came in and she works there.
ive never seen her before because im not ususally there at 2
i found out she was a senior at groves.
and i never found out her name. i just call her hippie scene girl.
She loooked like a modern day hippie with semi-scene hair
honestly wearing the coolest fucking uggs ever.
they were 3 different colors of brown, I wanted them.
she started talking about how we are all going to die on 12/12/2012
because many different ancient civilizations all predicted strange happenings on the same day even before they knew anyone other then their own tribe existed.
such as the mayans predicting the birthday of Christ 30 thousand years before he was born.

she told me that there was prooof that the N & S poles used to be in the atlantic ocean and poles shift over hundreds of thousands of years and we dont notice it becuase the changes happen in small amounts.
she said that on dec 12 2012 that the poles will shift drastically in a time span of three days and that will cause the plates under the earth to shift and the magma to errupt causing earthquakes and tsunamies all over the world.
and i thought that was pretty cool.
it also happened to be the same day that the earth, sun and black hole line up.


so i was thinking about this and i was all like NO WONDER i never planned on getting old.
because i never needed too.
i only ever thought Highschool, College, then Broadway.
i never thought about what i wanted to do when i got tooo old to be on stage.
now im kinda happy i dont have to worry about that.
were all going to die in five years anyways.
that makes me really happy now that i know that.
i dont have to worry about money or retirement or tomorrow.
as long as i make these last five years the best.
i think you all should think about it.

story number two:
so today i went to sams to get some food with my madre.
i hate sams.
so the lady who checked us out was old.
and not attractive and i felt bad for her cause she was lifting my 24 case of Monster into the cart on her own.
i all of a sudden felt sad.
because i knew that i would prolly end up working some sort of shit job like that.
because lets face it.
DREAMS RARELY COME TRUE
and usually i accept that. im okay with that.
but sometimes it still irks me.

but this lady was so happy and so genuinely enthusiastic
about doing all this boring repetative work.
it made me smile.
i never realized people liked doing shit jobs like that.
i didnt know that it would make that old lady happy.
when we were walking away my mom said that she was too cheery.
and i just thought 'shes only too cheery for you because you are a bitter old lady with nothing to be proud of.'

i never realized when i started getting so bitchy.
i have come conscience with the fact that lately i think bitchy things about everyone.
im a bitch in secret.

one day im going to forget how to say things in my head and jsut tell everyone what i really feel aobut them.

because ppl are stupid.
and they deserve to know that.